That's short for.... you get it.
Let's keep this one short because I have homework.
Fayed dies, Jack recovers the nukes and saves the world, all while Palmer goes more and more insane. All is right with the world and they could end the season, but then we have to find out Audrey's still alive and captive in China. Unless Jack plans on instantly teleporting to China, there aren't enough episodes in the season for him to get there. I don't get it.
Monday, April 9, 2007
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Sopranos and Entourage Premiers in 17 Syllables
Sopranos:So so sooooo boring.
Tony/Bobby fight was lame.
Where was the action?
Entourage:
Piven's on fire.
Season's shaping up to rule.
Going to bed now.
Side note: The Sopranos have the best press photos ever. Remember this one?
Monday, April 2, 2007
The following blog entry takes place between 9:05pm and 9:58pm, NORTH HOLLYWOOD TIME.
9:05 - Previously on Zenziro: Kevin complains about a lot of stuff and tries to be funny.
9:06 - Whoa, this week is actually from 9pm to 10pm. IT'S LIKE I'M REALLY THERE.
9:07 - Palmer's refusing to be president from a wheelchair. He was president from a coma for the last few hours, so I don't see what his beef is.
9:10 - Kevin's roommate demands that the episode be restarted. As such, this blog entry will be restarted.
9:11 - Previously on 24 - I think the president woke up and they caught the Russian guy. I only really pay attention when Jack Bauer's shooting people.
9:12 - Whoa, this week is actually from 9pm to 10pm. IT'S LIKE I'M REALLY THERE (plus 10 minutes, but we'll catch up after a commercial break or two).
9:13 - Palmer's refusing to be president from a wheelchair. He was president from a coma for the last few hours, so I don't see what his beef is.
9:14 - There are bums rooting through our recycling bin, and there's a French guy on our patio wearing a tin foil hat. Jack isn't currently shooting anyone, but he appears to be on a cell phone with CTU. You know what I find amusing about this is that the CIA has a stauch opposition to the use of cell phones due to the ease of wiretapping, and I know for certain that the amount cell phones are used in the White House in this show isn't even remotely in line with reality.
9:16 - The 25th amendment is apparently being invoked. It involves the VP basically assuming the duties of the President when the cabinet votes to WHOA ROOMMATES ARE TALKING THIS IS ANNOYING PAUSE PAUSE PAUSE
9:17 - The stitches on Palmer's face don't look even remotely real. Who's in charge of makeup on this show?
9:18 - I can't believe it's not even halfway through 2007 and Hillary Clinton's raised 26 million dollars. I wonder why the Obominable Candidate hasn't announced his intake so far.
9:20 - I finally remembered NYPD Blue guy's character. It's DOYLE. DOYLE. He seems to be attempting to apologize to Nadia, but starting an apology with "I'm not a racist, but..." isn't the best strategy.
9:21 - Doyle think's Milo's the bad one now. That's what I'm saying!
9:22 - The cabinet convenes to determine if Palmer's fit to be prez. Of course the vote is 7 to 7. VP needs a majority, so Palmer's good.
9:23 - Oh right, Karen Hayes resigned, so her vote didn't count. I sense a commercial break at the peak of this compelling argument between the VP and Prez.
9:25 - This is going to the Supreme court? Remember the first season of 24 when it was all action and shit?
9:26 - After two skipped commercial breaks, we now appear to officially be in REAL TIME. Thus far, I've been rather disappointed with this episode of 24. Jack's gotten about 4 seconds of camera time.
9:29 - Still no Jack. I'm rather over the marital drama between Hayes and Buchanan. Remember in season 3 when Jack chopped off his partner's arm?
9:30 - Finally. Jack's back on camera. Gridenko claims to be giving up Fayed, but if my education has taught me anything, Russians with beards and gravely fake accents can be rather shifty.
9:33 - Why did Palmer make this douchebag his running mate? This is the second President Palmer to have a rotten VP.
9:34 - The VP's secretary is apparently willing to lie in front of the Supreme Court so that the VP gains control... and she justifies it by quoting Machiavelli? Garbage. You should be quoting, like, some guy that sucks.
9:36 - HAHAHA. That conversation was totally tapped! Booya. The VP is going down hard, unless there's some sort of crazy fistfight here (which might be pretty bad ass).
9:38 - Lennox is really coming around. He was a real squirrely bastard when the season started. He's no George Mason, but I got respect.
9:40 - Palmer was just informed of the vote, and withdrew the attack on unnamed country possibly ending in -stan. It's about time. Let's get back to what Jack Bauer's doing already!
9:41 - They dumped Gridenko at the Santa Monica pier to meet with Fayed. Mark that as part of my 24 reality tour.
9:43 - Nothing's really happening except for 3 minutes of intense music.
9:44 - Here we go. Gridenko's getting kidnapped by Fayed's lackies. Not surprisingly, they figured out that Gridenko was followed. Jack's about to bust in and clean house.
9:45 - HAHAHA. Gridenko had his arm cut off, and that's why Jack can't find him. Remember that scene in Star Wars where that alien gets his arm lightsabered off? It looked just as realistic.
-- COMMERCIAL (Are you smarter than a 5th grader looks like an absolutely terrible show, and what happens if someone actually goes on there and demolishes one of the 5th graders? I realize it's probably like that movie Quiz Show where it's rigged, but what if that happens? It'll totally ruin that kid's life. Not enough people are paying attention to the social and developmental ramifications of this show.) --
9:50 - Finally some shooting. Sheesh.
9:51 - Jack has two kills. Should be at least one or two more coming. Fayed's in some bar shooting people, and the rest of the people started WAIT... Jack just kicked Fayed in the face and told him to shut up. This episode has redeemed itself.
9:53 - Palmer's not looking so good. Those adrenaline shots only work for so long.
9:54 - Gridenko apparently escaped to the beach and is now lumbering armless along the beach. I don't see this lasting long. Oh, yup. He just passed out in the ocean.
9:55 - Hayes and Lennox are having a mushy truce moment.
9:56 - WTF. Palmer just greenlighted (greenlit?) the nuke! This is going to bother me all god damn week. There's no way this gets resolved in the next 30 seconds.
9:57 - Episode's over. FUCK. This is remarkably bizarre. I can't even think of a good adverb to modify my adjectives right now because I'm just dying to know what happens now.
NEXT WEEK ON ZENZIRO: Does 24 quit the drama path and go back to non-stop action? Does Kevin lose sleep over the betrayal of the Palmer family name? Is it annoying to hear me use the 3rd person? All this and more, next week on the internet.
9:06 - Whoa, this week is actually from 9pm to 10pm. IT'S LIKE I'M REALLY THERE.
9:07 - Palmer's refusing to be president from a wheelchair. He was president from a coma for the last few hours, so I don't see what his beef is.
9:10 - Kevin's roommate demands that the episode be restarted. As such, this blog entry will be restarted.
9:11 - Previously on 24 - I think the president woke up and they caught the Russian guy. I only really pay attention when Jack Bauer's shooting people.
9:12 - Whoa, this week is actually from 9pm to 10pm. IT'S LIKE I'M REALLY THERE (plus 10 minutes, but we'll catch up after a commercial break or two).
9:13 - Palmer's refusing to be president from a wheelchair. He was president from a coma for the last few hours, so I don't see what his beef is.
9:14 - There are bums rooting through our recycling bin, and there's a French guy on our patio wearing a tin foil hat. Jack isn't currently shooting anyone, but he appears to be on a cell phone with CTU. You know what I find amusing about this is that the CIA has a stauch opposition to the use of cell phones due to the ease of wiretapping, and I know for certain that the amount cell phones are used in the White House in this show isn't even remotely in line with reality.
9:16 - The 25th amendment is apparently being invoked. It involves the VP basically assuming the duties of the President when the cabinet votes to WHOA ROOMMATES ARE TALKING THIS IS ANNOYING PAUSE PAUSE PAUSE
9:17 - The stitches on Palmer's face don't look even remotely real. Who's in charge of makeup on this show?
9:18 - I can't believe it's not even halfway through 2007 and Hillary Clinton's raised 26 million dollars. I wonder why the Obominable Candidate hasn't announced his intake so far.
9:20 - I finally remembered NYPD Blue guy's character. It's DOYLE. DOYLE. He seems to be attempting to apologize to Nadia, but starting an apology with "I'm not a racist, but..." isn't the best strategy.
9:21 - Doyle think's Milo's the bad one now. That's what I'm saying!
9:22 - The cabinet convenes to determine if Palmer's fit to be prez. Of course the vote is 7 to 7. VP needs a majority, so Palmer's good.
9:23 - Oh right, Karen Hayes resigned, so her vote didn't count. I sense a commercial break at the peak of this compelling argument between the VP and Prez.
9:25 - This is going to the Supreme court? Remember the first season of 24 when it was all action and shit?
9:26 - After two skipped commercial breaks, we now appear to officially be in REAL TIME. Thus far, I've been rather disappointed with this episode of 24. Jack's gotten about 4 seconds of camera time.
9:29 - Still no Jack. I'm rather over the marital drama between Hayes and Buchanan. Remember in season 3 when Jack chopped off his partner's arm?
9:30 - Finally. Jack's back on camera. Gridenko claims to be giving up Fayed, but if my education has taught me anything, Russians with beards and gravely fake accents can be rather shifty.
9:33 - Why did Palmer make this douchebag his running mate? This is the second President Palmer to have a rotten VP.
9:34 - The VP's secretary is apparently willing to lie in front of the Supreme Court so that the VP gains control... and she justifies it by quoting Machiavelli? Garbage. You should be quoting, like, some guy that sucks.
9:36 - HAHAHA. That conversation was totally tapped! Booya. The VP is going down hard, unless there's some sort of crazy fistfight here (which might be pretty bad ass).
9:38 - Lennox is really coming around. He was a real squirrely bastard when the season started. He's no George Mason, but I got respect.
9:40 - Palmer was just informed of the vote, and withdrew the attack on unnamed country possibly ending in -stan. It's about time. Let's get back to what Jack Bauer's doing already!
9:41 - They dumped Gridenko at the Santa Monica pier to meet with Fayed. Mark that as part of my 24 reality tour.
9:43 - Nothing's really happening except for 3 minutes of intense music.
9:44 - Here we go. Gridenko's getting kidnapped by Fayed's lackies. Not surprisingly, they figured out that Gridenko was followed. Jack's about to bust in and clean house.
9:45 - HAHAHA. Gridenko had his arm cut off, and that's why Jack can't find him. Remember that scene in Star Wars where that alien gets his arm lightsabered off? It looked just as realistic.
-- COMMERCIAL (Are you smarter than a 5th grader looks like an absolutely terrible show, and what happens if someone actually goes on there and demolishes one of the 5th graders? I realize it's probably like that movie Quiz Show where it's rigged, but what if that happens? It'll totally ruin that kid's life. Not enough people are paying attention to the social and developmental ramifications of this show.) --
9:50 - Finally some shooting. Sheesh.
9:51 - Jack has two kills. Should be at least one or two more coming. Fayed's in some bar shooting people, and the rest of the people started WAIT... Jack just kicked Fayed in the face and told him to shut up. This episode has redeemed itself.
9:53 - Palmer's not looking so good. Those adrenaline shots only work for so long.
9:54 - Gridenko apparently escaped to the beach and is now lumbering armless along the beach. I don't see this lasting long. Oh, yup. He just passed out in the ocean.
9:55 - Hayes and Lennox are having a mushy truce moment.
9:56 - WTF. Palmer just greenlighted (greenlit?) the nuke! This is going to bother me all god damn week. There's no way this gets resolved in the next 30 seconds.
9:57 - Episode's over. FUCK. This is remarkably bizarre. I can't even think of a good adverb to modify my adjectives right now because I'm just dying to know what happens now.
NEXT WEEK ON ZENZIRO: Does 24 quit the drama path and go back to non-stop action? Does Kevin lose sleep over the betrayal of the Palmer family name? Is it annoying to hear me use the 3rd person? All this and more, next week on the internet.
Sunday, April 1, 2007
Healthy Resentment
1) When you're excited because someone you know quotes a movie or tv show you love, but you know it so well that you get absolutely furious that they've slightly messed up the words or the delivery and therefore feel the need to angrily correct them.
2) When you're so perturbed by having to attend class on a saturday morning that you actually turn down the offer for a free mimosa from your classmates.
3) When, while recognizing the stress-relieving benefits of Parliament Lights, your monthly credit card statement lists 14 different $4.50 transactions from convenience stores.
4) When the accomplishment of a free ticket on a single lotto scratcher sparks remarkable enthusiasm, despite spending $10 on four different ones.
5) When running over an orange hampers the functionality of your lawn mower, but the refreshing smell of oranges helps you remember that you'd borrowed the lawnmower from your neighbor anyway.
6) When you just aren't quite satisfied with the look and feel of your myspace page.
7) When websudoku.com reports that you've done over 20 puzzles in one day, but for some reason you refuse to move from "easy" to "medium" on the skill ladder.
8) When your sister decides to move to Cleveland.
9) When others seem either skeptical or entirely unimpressed with the irony of your tale of being late to your best friend's wedding because you were in line purchasing "Time management for dummies."
10) When, after hosting a keg party, your house somehow seems cleaner than it did a week previous.
2) When you're so perturbed by having to attend class on a saturday morning that you actually turn down the offer for a free mimosa from your classmates.
3) When, while recognizing the stress-relieving benefits of Parliament Lights, your monthly credit card statement lists 14 different $4.50 transactions from convenience stores.
4) When the accomplishment of a free ticket on a single lotto scratcher sparks remarkable enthusiasm, despite spending $10 on four different ones.
5) When running over an orange hampers the functionality of your lawn mower, but the refreshing smell of oranges helps you remember that you'd borrowed the lawnmower from your neighbor anyway.
6) When you just aren't quite satisfied with the look and feel of your myspace page.
7) When websudoku.com reports that you've done over 20 puzzles in one day, but for some reason you refuse to move from "easy" to "medium" on the skill ladder.
8) When your sister decides to move to Cleveland.
9) When others seem either skeptical or entirely unimpressed with the irony of your tale of being late to your best friend's wedding because you were in line purchasing "Time management for dummies."
10) When, after hosting a keg party, your house somehow seems cleaner than it did a week previous.
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