The Following Takes Place Between 4:39pm and 5:48pm NORTH HOLLYWOOD TIME

4:39 - Last week on 24: the VP is a Dick Cheny clone, Palmer's still under the knife, Gridenko's still at large, and I'm a little bit hungry.

4:40 - Jack's really back in action now that he popped a few hostiles at the end of the last episode. I still find it completely hilarious that the Russian President was JUST FINE with us invading the Russian Consulate in LA.

4:41 - Is the real Russian consulate even in LA?

4:42 - Fayed and Gridenko are fighting. Apparently these terrorists need to have a team-building retreat. Their success so far has been fairly unimpressive. Seriously, a nuke goes off in Valencia? 99% of America has never heard of Valencia. Plus, Magic Mountain is closing anyway.

4:44 - Looks like we have a new character here. I'm not going to like this one.

4:46 - BRANDON ELLIOTT IS CALLING ME. Whether or not you know who he is, you know it'll be important.

4:52 - It wasn't. He wanted to know the tallest mountain in Ecuador. It's Chimborazo at 6300 meters. Fun.

4:54 - Back to 24. Sounds like Nadia was set up and CTU's found evidence to prove it, but NYPD Blue guy (still don't know his name) is going to cover it up because he led the witch hunt against Nadia. What garbage.

4:56 - I love my DVR. No commercials. This is especially useful for stressful shows like 24 where the commercial breaks are agonizing.

4:57 - It's also helpful because you can pause the show when your mom calls.

5:01 - We're back. And so is President Palmer's sister. She's annoying as hell.

5:02 - Karen Hayes still thinks they can wake Palmer out of his coma. Obviously they're going to, because this is TV, but come on. Why didn't they just make him seriously wounded/incapacitated instead of going the whole coma route?

5:05 - The VP I believe just found out that the President has woken up from his coma. He's finally going to lose his stupid "nuke the generic arabs" plan.

5:06 - Now the VP is telling the doctor to sedate the President and put him back in the coma. Hilarious.

5:07 - That new character I mentioned? I think Jack just led an attack on his house and killed him. No wait, he just captured him. I bet this new irrelevant dude will somehow lead to the terrorists all of a sudden.

5:09 - Apparently this dude was having his brother hack into some nuclear power plant's mainframe without realizing what he was doing. What?

5:11 - Apparently this mystery character's brother is autistic and some kind of computer wiz. The guy playing him is also not a very good actor.

5:13 - They're sending the autistic guy on a meet and greet with Gridenko? Not that Jack Bauer's a terribly humane guy, but this sounds incredibly mean-spirited.

5:14 - The NYPD Blue guy's name is Doyle! Finally.

5:15 - Doyle finally fessed up and showed the evidence that Nadia's innocent, but not without a silly argument in the middle of the CTU floor demonstrating some really below-average thespian skills.

5:17 - Now Buchanan's actually trying to convince Nadia to STAY after being abandoned in a holding cell. Somehow I see her turning to the dark side now.

5:18 - Chloe just called Milo out on having a crush on Nadia. This is the last time I really want to even talk about her, because she's an unproductive CTU agent and an unentertaining character.

5:19 - Shit Milo, there's no crying on 24!

5:20 - I'd still love to know what the president traded to China to get Jack out of prison.

5:21 - President Palmer's crashing! Wait, no, he's fine.

5:23 - I can just assume, given how much Jack keeps saying that they need to protect the autistic guy, that he's somehow going to either get shot or taken hostage during this little operation.

5:26 - Wow, he survived and they got Gridenko (and obviously mercilessly shot all of the other Russians). I'm not terribly sure why I actually suspected Jack Bauer would fail at anything. Dude could pass a calculus without even studying.

5:28 - Jack looks troubled again. Jack, stop worrying about Audrey. She died like a year ago. Focus on interrogating Gridenko.

5:29 - Gridenko's already offering to help Jack locate Fayed and the other bombs in exchange for amnesty. They really throw amnesty around on this show a lot.

5:41 - My phone seriously needs to stop rinigng. I'm having second thoughts about emailing every esoteric and b-list celebrity I could think of with my phone number and information on a fascinating financial opportunity involving an exiled price from Nigeria.

5:43 - That remark was unrelated to my phone ringing. My sister is still more of a C-list celebrity.

5:44 - The air strike squadron launching an attack on Arab Nation X is called VICTORY SQUARDRON. Hahahahaha.

5:45 - HA! President Palmer's awake and told VICTORY SQUADRON to stand down! Fuck you Vice President. Palmer's laying down the law.

5:46 - Of course, this probably also means he'll end up dying this season.

5:47 - What a mother fucker. The VP just told the cabinet he needs to assume the presidency because the President isn't thinking clearly. God damn cliffhangers.

-- EPISODE ENDS --

5:48 - Next on FOX News - Anna Nicole Smith's autopsy results are in! What happened? I ddin't record the news. I suppose I could look on, like, every news website on earth.

Next Week On Zenziro: Will Kevin actually watch 24 at its regularly schedule time?

We're Official.

Look for these (without the extraneous text in the middle) randomly sitting in bathroom stalls throughout the greater Los Angeles area. You'll then know that the bathroom you're occupying was graced by genius.

Healthy Resentment

1. When you have to wake up early, and realize that you've gone to bed a bit too late, and therefore can't sleep at all becuase all you think about as you lay in bed is what time you need to wake up.

2. When you think of something that you think you resent in a healthy manner, then realize you basically just resent it altogether.

3. When you're so excited and pleased with your $4 frozen pizza purchase at Target that you end up rapidly consuming the entire thing.

4. When your full name is comprised of normally-accepted first names, and thus encounter people that call you by your last name thinking that it's your first name.

5. When said people fail to appreciate your response of "what do you think my last name is?"

6. When you watch a basketball game on TV, yelling incessantly at the players as if you could somehow perform better than they can.

7. When you sink the 9-ball on a break, then look around and remember that you're playing pool by yourself.

8. When you receive your monthly phone bill and realize that your bill has increased exponentionally due to your "early and often" philosophy to American Idol voting.

9. When you suddenly notice that you have an appropriate Simpsons quote for literally any situation you encounter in daily life.

10. When the clerk at Circus Liquor store ceases to adhere to the store's strict ID policy for your purchases because he knows you that well.

lost diary - 03-21-07 - Why Locke was in a wheelchair

First off, last week I had decided that I had given up on lost. After countless episodes of 'blue cheese' that always involved slow motion, bad synth music and 'thank god we're together' looks, i decided the show had finally and completely sold out. This was helpful because that would free up enough time to watch real world. Sadly... lost sucked me in for one last round and low and behold.. it was really good.

I know what you're thinking... "That's just relational non-suckage.. fucking lost has been awful for the last 3 weeks(arguably this whole last year) and now that a reasonably OK episode has come on, you actually think it was good."

I get that.. and yes, that is a very good explanation. Regaurdless, I would like to go into a few highlights.


for ince... there's talk of a magic box!
i always thought the only magic that came out of a box was in my pants... but no.
now it's on a soundstage in hawaii too. ridiculous line of the week: "it can create anything you want. you just have to think about it and it's there."

2. jack is so hot when he plays piano.... goddamn i love that man

3. The others supposedly have a submarine! HAH! Ben lets the others believe that they have the freedom to leave the island, which ironically keeps them from leaving.
true in so many ways. freedom begets complacency. when people realize they're not free they rebel.
bam!

4. goddamn jack's hot.. he's talking to kate all sexy-like... HE's GOING TO COME BACK FOR HER... yessss.... tap that shit biatch.

5. locke is going to blow up the submarine?! no no and no. this just reitterates that locke is the person who orchestrated this whole shpeal from the beginning.
WHAT IDIOT WOULD BLOW UP THE ONLY THING THAT COULD GET THEM OFF THE ISLAND?!
the leaders.. that's right.

6. flashback for locke... his dad killed a kid who discovered he was an asshole. locke gets a visit from the cops.. finds out kid is dead... goes to see daddy... daddy throws locke out of an 8 story building. duh...

7. BEST PART ALERT...... how did locke get out of the wheelchair? why is ben still in one?
dharma = truth in nature
living a natural life produces amazing things? like unbreaking your back?
ben living a surburban life while trying to pretend its natural limits his ability to take part in the magic box. (in my pants)
lastly... doesn't this just point out another very important point.. if we try and restart humanity and return to the point where we're not conditioned by society, we inevitably end up creating the same thing we have now..
you can't just take the surburban out of the man.. kids.

er.. i'm late for work..
i'll figure out something more legible later
BAM

Spam Subject Of The Month

I received a spam e-mail regarding some stupid fly-by-night penny stock, and this was the subject line:

Recently in the news there was talk of another outbreak of Red Tide.

And yeah, these days MacMail's spam filter is about as useful as fluency in Esperanto.

If that analogy didn't work for you, just substitute some other obsolete phenomena in there and giggle to yourself or something. You know those Choose Your Own Adventure books? Or am I thinking of Mad Libs?

Deceptively Viking-Sounding Event Names, and the Aimless Blog Entries That They Inspire

I remember one of the very first times I talked to Claire, we talked about the type of environment we'd create if we ran an office. I don't remember entirely what I said (or why we were even talking about it), but, knowing my tendencies, it involved something about "creating a culture of fear and deception," and Claire responded with "I'd create a culture of sexual harrassment."

Now that I've had some time to think about it, I suppose I should have responded with "combine those two and you've got the Catholic Church!"

Enron?

Anyway.

I attended a seminar at school today labeled on the school calendar as "Mandatory Interactive Business Ethics Experience." As we filter into the conference center for the whathaveyou, we find out that this specific program is called Eagle's Flight Council Of The Marble Star. What the....

Don't believe me? Believe it now.

Now, this exercise had little to do eith ethics and everything to do with a room full of apathetic MBA students. Each of twelve teams exchanged various types of currency and started the game with various pieces of information about other teams, and through the flow of information and the barter system, teams were supposed to trade their resources to obtain the most points after one hour. Right now, it sounds more like Monopoly, without the free parking and frustration. There was no glory to be won, though we did find out later that the four winning teams received "authentic" pewter amulets (again, no joke). We all represented "villages" with names like BowMaster, IronFist, and... I don't really remember the rest of them. UnicornHoof?

We then broke into groups and discussed a case a recent MBA grad who joined Delloite Consulting and took some liberties with her company credit card (at least, that's as best I can describe it in 20 words or less). She did things like unilaterally upgrade her plane tickets and stay at the Ritz on a business trip to Omaha, as well as order movies and wine through room service, and then bill this all back to the company.

First aside: I'd totally do stuff like that, and I'd certainly allow it from my employees once I get some employees, though I wouldn't ever subject them to Omaha.

This whole "program," from the curiously-named simplistic role-playing game to a discussion of whether United or USAirways is nicer- barely even touched on the idea of ethics. When you talk about ethics, shouldn't you approach ideas such as, I don't know, topics that relate to the existence of the Better Business Bureau? Or OSHA? Or the ACLU? Or all the various unions and professional societies? Shouldn't we talk about lying to shareholders or insider trading or stealing trade secrets or falsely advertising a product?

At this point, I've entirely forgotten where I planned to go with this. I think I was going to create an ethics quiz, but at this point I'm already thinking about a movie involving a bunch of knights fighting over a pewter amulet, so the ethics quiz will consist entirely of one question suggested to me my a friend of mine from San Francisco studying for his accounting ethics exam:

You find a roll of bling on da streetz - what goes down?

a) keep da $$
b) returnz

I think a better ethics lesson for us would have been to simply slap a picture of Ken Lay or Bernie Ebers on the wall of every classrom in the building with a big LOL on their face.

The following blog entry takes place between 8:59pm and 9:57pm, NORTH HOLLYWOOD TIME.

8:59 - Damn time change. Shit started a minute early. I almost missed it!

9:00 - Previously on 24 - ex president's crazy ex-wife tries to stab him (he's totally going to be dead this episode), the Russian President for some reason cooperates with the US (that seems fishy to me), and some guy that used to be on NYPD Blue joined the cast as some hard-nosed field ops guy. He sucks.

9:02 - I can hear my roommate in the other room watching skateboarding dvds on our good tv. One day, he'll learn.

9:03 - The Vice President that's currently running the country totally blows. Cue all the various "remind you of anyone?" jokes.

9:04 - I love how incredibly specific the terrorists are with every single conversation. "We need to launch these three drones to our three primary objectives within the next 53 minutes so we can finally exact our revenge for the injustices the Americans have subjected us to. Ken Griffey Jr. hit 42 home runs in 1996."

9:06 - Chloe's getting all annoying at CTU again. Devotees will see flashes of season 3, and foreshadowing to future comments in this blog entry.

9:09 - Wait, they already launched one of the nukes? How the hell didn't I notice that?

9:10 - The god damn VP is preparing an attack on Generic Arab Nation 6 (they never address any specific nationalities - probably some sort of Homeland Security directive) now that one of the drones is airborne over US soil. That reminds me of something I saw in The Onion this week. Something about the Iraq War.

-- COMMERCIAL (now all I can think about is all the bumper stickers I'm going to see regarding the Iraq war, like "Here's to four more years of victory!" and "This was worse than the four times I had to repeat 8th grade," etc. I'm getting trademarks for those slogans, by the way, so fuck you if I see a t-shirt in Urban Outfitters with that shit on it) --

9:14 - CTU actually wasted the breath to mention that Santa Barbara is not where the nuke is headed. Imagine the sort of statement for the terrorists that that would make.

9:15 - Uh oh, Audrey's coming back.

9:17 - Nevermind. Audrey's dead. Jack's totally going to end up putting the moves on his brother's wife before this day is out. Jack rebonds fast.

9:18 - Mother fucker, who calls me during 24?

9:19 - This Audrey being dead thing is really going to throw Jack off his game for an hour or two. Apparently she was in China when she died, so Jack's going to be grieving over the idea that Audrey tried to come save him now. Why can't he learn about these things during the 364 days that aren't part of the 24 season?

9:21 - Apparently the VP's green lighting an attack on "an area near the northern border of their country." This is like the 13 seasons of the Simpsons where Springfield's state was unknown (they finally revealed that it's in Kentucky, right?)

-- COMMERCIAL (Since a lot of commercial breaks involve movie and tv show previews, I figured I'd give you a blog preview: I'm going to be writing a business ethics entry after 24 is over. It's called Eagle's Flight Order Of The Marble Star. No joke, I just had a mandatory ethics seminar with that exact title at school today, and I don't go to school in 13th century Norway) --

9:27 - Milo's still mad at Morris and thinks he might be drinking on the job. Chloe's getting shifty eyes.

9:28 - Wow. Chloe was asked to check Morris' breath (for non-watchers, Chloe is his ex-wife), so she walks up to him and makes out with him, then when he asks what she's doing she responds with "I'm just seeing if there's alcohol on your breath." Morris respons with "Gotta love this place." This is 24's first attempt at humor in 6 seasons.

9:30 - Actually, maybe that wasn't supposed to be funny.

9:31 - CTU's got a leak! I figure it's Nadia, just because everyone's backing her because the annoying NYPD Blue guy thinks it's her. Same shit happened with Nina in season 1.

9:32 - That was fast. Chloe seems to have figured out that it is Nadia. Now I'm thinking she's been set up. I'm thinking Milo's dirty. Why else would he have given her that password a while ago?

9:33 - We should also entertain the possibility it's some random that never gets any camera time. It's a lot easier to write off a character that wasn't on the show to begin with.

-- COMMERCIAL (Jack hasn't been on camera in a while. Indigestion? Actually, I'd assume Jack's stomach is made of pure lead, but he's got some sort of issue going on right now. He's cried on camera plenty of times, so the fact that he's moping over Audrey usually doesn't keep him from getting some face time with the audience. Also, there's been a nuke airborne for like 25 minutes. Ummm......) --

9:37 - President Palmer's in bad shape. I'm sure he'll be back on his feet in two episodes, even though a bomb exploded like 8 feet from him.

9:38 - Hahahaha. Karen Hayes wants the doc to bring the President back to consciousness for a minute just to chat. Yeah, and I want red shag seat covers for my Ford Focus.

9:39 - They mentioned the address 1530 Hillcrest. I try to keep track of this stuff for the 24 Reality Tour business we've been planning to start.

9:40 - NYPD Blue guy (what the hell is his name anyway? Doyle or something?) is trying to torture Nadia. I gotta tell you, this is pretty dumb, even for 24. How does CTU take 14 hours to realize they have a leak and then 8 seconds to locate it and "plug" it anyway?

9:42 - Oh there's Jack.

9:43 - Oops. Gone again.

9:44 - There he is. Kill someone already!

9:45 - Jack's vowing revenge on the people who killed Audrey or whatever. I couldn't give less of a shit about that, Jack. Take care of that during one of the days I'm not watching.

-- COMMERCIAL (This last commercial break tends to be obnoxiously long, plus I have to put up with teasers for the local news, which will also undoubtedly repeat the depressing news of the four year anniversary of the ongoing Iraq victory. I always wondered - if the media stopped covering President Bush, do you think he'd just canish into thin air? Ahhhh there's the teaser. God damn it. The fact that 51% of Iraqi's now think the country would be better off without the American presence is so embarrassing. Sorry for the diatribe. Long commercial breaks do that to me) --

9:49 - Nuke's still airborne. I don't know... just seems weird that it hasn't hit something yet. It's got to be grazing the power lines at Las Vegas International by now.

9:50 - YES. JACK FINALLY KILLED A GUY. NOW TWO GUYS! Hold on....

9:51 - And a third.... The target is San Francisco. No wonder it hasn't blown up yet.

9:52 - 30 seconds from SF already? That means it was going like 500 mph.

9:53 - This is great. Jack's basically just playing flight simulator on some old-ass computer. How is he not going to crash this thing into the Raiders' stadium or something?

9:54 - Welp, he landed it, and it immediate burst into flame. Of course, the nuke didn't blow. Well done Jack! That was one of your more childish world-savings.

9:55 - I have a feeling this nuke's still going to blow. You know, after LA's been subjected to about 80 different hazards through 5 and a half seasons of 24, it's about time some other city gets a little sweat on their collective brow.

9:56 - Hahahaha. Vice President is so bummed that it didn't blow up. He wanted to blow up a generic Middle Eastern nation.

9:57 - He's still launching the attack! Naturally, they'll be launching the attack "within the hour." Can't have that shit carry over for two weeks, now.

-- EPISODE ENDS --

Next week on Zenziro: Find out who called me during 24, and why I won't be taking his phone calls for the next week!

MARCH MUSTACHE MADNESS

breaking news

chiquita banana has been charged with terrorism fraud.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v312/clakat/untitled.jpg

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070314/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/terrorism_bananas

24 Update

LOL LOGAN'S EX WIFE

I'm Continuing To Make A Christmas List

6. A nasty divorce for Elvis Costello and his wife, so that he'll stop writing boring lounge music.

7. Three copies of A Million Little Pieces.

8. The installation of an intricate network of tunnels throughout the walls of my house that can be built into a guinea pig colony.

9. Ten gallons of lighter fluid.

10. A photo of Nikita Khrushchev giving a thumbs up.

Engaged and Underage quiz

1. What was your favorite Engaged and Underage couple?

2. Did you like them because they reminded you of innocent love or because your brain was running circles around how long they would last and how they would break up?

3. Do you wish the show had a host like pat say jack or vanna white?

4. What was the best line from engaged and underage?

5. What lessons have we learned from EandU?

6. If you could find out what happened to any couple, who would it be?

7. Best parent reaction?

i've been saying it forever but.....

catwoman is a really really good movie.

The following blog entry takes place between 9pm and 10pm, NORTH HOLLYWOOD TIME.

9:01 - Previously on 24! President Logan has a beard that looks suspiciously like Saddam's beard, there's a plot to kill President Palmer and the crazy guy from Dracula: Dead And Loving It (worst Mel Brooks movie ever, by the way) is the only man that's aware of it.

9:02 - Shit I totally forgot the President's press room got bombed last week. So, for, like, the 4th out of 6 seasons, the "evil" vice president is forced to step in.

9:03 - President Logan is dirty. There's no way he's redeeming himself after killing off the other President Palmer.

9:04 - George Mason should come back from the dead and be president. He was a real asshole that got shit done.

9:05 - Jack switched from field gear to a suit and clean shave in less than two minutes. What a badass.

9:08 - The guy playing the secretary of defense looks really familiar. It'll come to be by the end of the episode. Side note: Why do I think the old secretary of defense, along with his daughter who was in love with Jack will be back within the next episode or two? They go out of their way to bring back a shitbag like Logan, they sure as hell aren't keeping the Hellers off camera. Plus, the people playing those two characters aren't doing anything else with their lives. I wouldn't either.

9:09 - One of the guys behind this plot to kill the president is so stupid. Why is he keeping Tom Lennox alive other than to make sure Lennox can save the world (with Jack's help, obviously).

9:11 - Oh yeah, now they're letting Lennox loose because they "trust" him. Given that there's, like, 14 episodes left, I think he's going to turn evil.....

9:12 - Welp... I was wrong about that one. Lennox is fucked now - he totally told the wrong guy.

-- COMMERCIAL (this is the part where all characters on the show go to the bathroom and hit up Taco Bell, if you're wondering why they never televise it) --

9:17 - Ohhhh, Logan's trying to keep Jack out of the room while he meets with the Russian Consul. No way, Jack.

9:18 - My foot's falling asleep, but I TOTALLY DON'T CARE. I wonder if Jack Bauer's foot ever falls asleep?

9:19 - Did Jack kill anyone last episode? I can't remember.

9:20 - They reference the NSA wiretapping A LOT this season. Interesting

9:21 - Logan's being a softie with the Russian Consul. What a lameass. It's season 5 all over again. What a wuss. Who voted for this stupid guy? The Russians are obviously dirty. I read it on a fortune cookie once.

9:23 - Ohhh, shit's about to go down at the Russian Consulate.

-- COMMERCIAL (The Vice President was at the airport before the break. Five bucks says he'll already be at the White House by the time we're back. Andrews Air Force Base is at least an hour by car and 15-20 minutes by chopper.)

9:25 - This isn't related to 24, but Dave Matthews is guest starring on House this week? Not the way to kickstart an acting career, guy.

-- STILL ON COMMERCIAL --

9:28 - Karen Hays is still at Andres Air Force Base? She's been there for, like, 4 episodes. I was about to say how dumb it was she was planning to bolt for LA, but now I see why they tossed in this little plot hole.

9:31 - Secret Service doesn't believe Tom Lennox about the conspiracy. Obviously the Veep won't either, since he's in on this shit.

9:33 - VP is blackmailing Lennox without even making it obvious he's behind the assassination attempt. What a mess. Why can't they just fly Jack out to DC to clean house?

9:34 - Jack's conducting dark ops at the Russian Consulate in a black suit with a purple tie and.... holy shit, he speaks Russian? He must have gotten some books on tape during those two years in Chinese prison.

9:36 - Interrogation time! Fuck yeah. Jack's gonna spend the next year between seasons in Siberia. Taking the Russian Consul hostage? Crazy shit.

9:37 - Ha! He just called CTU and said "Bill, I've got a situation." Well put.

-- COMMERCIAL (During this break, Jack and the Russian Consul split a cheeseburger, talk about last week's episode of Prison Break, joke about their love lives, show off some of their scars, and the Russian Consul helps Jack out with the day's LA Times Crossword) --

9:41 - The secret office under the White House looks rad. If I were President, I'd never go anywhere else. I wonder how the food service is.

9:43 - Ahhh two people talking at once. Stop stop I'll miss something! VP's secretary needs to shut up while Bill Buchanan is talking.

9:44 - See, and now I don't even know what she said because I was so mad and was tying with great fury. Oh I see, the Russian President's on the phone. I'm hoping it's like the Russian Premier in Dr. Strangelove where he's totally hammered because it's the middle of the night.

9:45 - Ohh back to the Jack interrogation. It's been ten minutes and he's just now asking about Gridenko? They were totally doing the crossword. It brings enemies together, I'm telling you. Or maybe they were playing Chess.

9:46 - BOOYA. Jack just cut off the guy's finger! Merica!

9:47 - Did you ever seen Man On Fire? Denzel did that shit too.

9:48 - Damn, Russian guy came clean pretty quick. FUCK they captured Jack! That shit won't fly. Tony Almedia's gonna come back from the dead to save Jack one more time. Also, what happened to Jack's dad? Dude vanished two episodes ago.

-- COMMERCIAL (This episode's been pretty emotionally intense without a lot of violence, so I'd imagine most of the players are simply sitting in quiet reflection over the events of the last 48 minutes, and how best to give me a traumatizing cliffhanger in the next 12 minutes so that I remain tormented about the show when I'm supposed to be lining up that 3-ball combo to the 9 ball at Michael's) --

9:52 - There's been very few shots of CTU this episode. What's Chloe up to? What about Milo? God, this Vice President sucks.

9:53 - Oh, there's Chloe. When did her desk turn red? What's it clear glass? And when did Morris clean his act up? He was a bumbling idiot last week.

9:54 - Ohhh, Buchanan's authorizing a special operation into the Consulate. Act of War, bitch!

9:55 - Jack's tied up. You're gonna need a lot more than rope to restain him. Remember in the first episode this season when he ate his way out of Fayed's restraint and bit a guy to death? What a cool guy.

9:56 - Ha! Jack just TALKED his way out of capture. There's a first time for everything. Too bad the guy who set him free ended up getting shot anyway. Live and learn.

-- EPISODE ENDS --

Next week on Zenziro - Will Tom Lenoox finally get some traction with revealing the conspiracy? Will Kevin's foot finally wake up? Will Logan's crazy wife resurface?

The answer to the third question is yes. For the rest of the answers, join us next week on the internet.

Lost Diary 2.0.0.7

Once I thought the world was going to die because of global warming, now i'm thoroughly convinced it's going to die because of horrible television programming such as these recent lost episodes. Why oh why oh why.

Here goes:

1. Wow! that was a great idea getting cheech to play Hurley's dad. They're BOTH HISPANIC... AND... hurley talks like he's always stoned (even though he's been stuck on an island for about 3 yrs)

2. Hurley's dad gives him a candy bar - the subtlty of this show always makes me happy. I mean who would pick up on the fact that hurley's weight problem was caused by his dad leaving him at an early age. it's like they throw things in as foreshadowing only for the hardcore fans.......
........
.....
not

3. so the dog brings out an arm carrying a rabbits foot with keys to a car. Hurley runs through the jungle to try and find the car. He finds it. I guess the dog remembered? My dog can't even remember what food means and thats the only thing he cares about. I have a hard time believing this plot already.

4. I could go on about what else happens but it just gets worse and worse and worse and worse

the epic endings of all of these are really disturbing.

until next week... when, hopefully, they give me some matthew fox, so i can turn the sound down.. open a bottle of 2000 cab, order some indian from down the street and have a 'couples night'....
til then..

I'm Starting To Make A Christmas List

1. A parrot that can recite pi to 20 decimal places and who addresses me as "champ."

2. A $4.50 Taco Bell Gift Card

3. A speed limit sign not ending in 5 or 0

4. Red shag upholstery for my car

5. The solution to today's (March 4, 2007) LA Times crossword.

Start shopping. We'll be adding more periodically.

Music Video of the Day

Paradox of the Day

Claire hates women.

Don't tell anyone.