9:01 - Previously on 24! President Logan has a beard that looks suspiciously like Saddam's beard, there's a plot to kill President Palmer and the crazy guy from Dracula: Dead And Loving It (worst Mel Brooks movie ever, by the way) is the only man that's aware of it.
9:02 - Shit I totally forgot the President's press room got bombed last week. So, for, like, the 4th out of 6 seasons, the "evil" vice president is forced to step in.
9:03 - President Logan is dirty. There's no way he's redeeming himself after killing off the other President Palmer.
9:04 - George Mason should come back from the dead and be president. He was a real asshole that got shit done.
9:05 - Jack switched from field gear to a suit and clean shave in less than two minutes. What a badass.
9:08 - The guy playing the secretary of defense looks really familiar. It'll come to be by the end of the episode. Side note: Why do I think the old secretary of defense, along with his daughter who was in love with Jack will be back within the next episode or two? They go out of their way to bring back a shitbag like Logan, they sure as hell aren't keeping the Hellers off camera. Plus, the people playing those two characters aren't doing anything else with their lives. I wouldn't either.
9:09 - One of the guys behind this plot to kill the president is so stupid. Why is he keeping Tom Lennox alive other than to make sure Lennox can save the world (with Jack's help, obviously).
9:11 - Oh yeah, now they're letting Lennox loose because they "trust" him. Given that there's, like, 14 episodes left, I think he's going to turn evil.....
9:12 - Welp... I was wrong about that one. Lennox is fucked now - he totally told the wrong guy.
-- COMMERCIAL (this is the part where all characters on the show go to the bathroom and hit up Taco Bell, if you're wondering why they never televise it) --
9:17 - Ohhhh, Logan's trying to keep Jack out of the room while he meets with the Russian Consul. No way, Jack.
9:18 - My foot's falling asleep, but I TOTALLY DON'T CARE. I wonder if Jack Bauer's foot ever falls asleep?
9:19 - Did Jack kill anyone last episode? I can't remember.
9:20 - They reference the NSA wiretapping A LOT this season. Interesting
9:21 - Logan's being a softie with the Russian Consul. What a lameass. It's season 5 all over again. What a wuss. Who voted for this stupid guy? The Russians are obviously dirty. I read it on a fortune cookie once.
9:23 - Ohhh, shit's about to go down at the Russian Consulate.
-- COMMERCIAL (The Vice President was at the airport before the break. Five bucks says he'll already be at the White House by the time we're back. Andrews Air Force Base is at least an hour by car and 15-20 minutes by chopper.)
9:25 - This isn't related to 24, but Dave Matthews is guest starring on House this week? Not the way to kickstart an acting career, guy.
-- STILL ON COMMERCIAL --
9:28 - Karen Hays is still at Andres Air Force Base? She's been there for, like, 4 episodes. I was about to say how dumb it was she was planning to bolt for LA, but now I see why they tossed in this little plot hole.
9:31 - Secret Service doesn't believe Tom Lennox about the conspiracy. Obviously the Veep won't either, since he's in on this shit.
9:33 - VP is blackmailing Lennox without even making it obvious he's behind the assassination attempt. What a mess. Why can't they just fly Jack out to DC to clean house?
9:34 - Jack's conducting dark ops at the Russian Consulate in a black suit with a purple tie and.... holy shit, he speaks Russian? He must have gotten some books on tape during those two years in Chinese prison.
9:36 - Interrogation time! Fuck yeah. Jack's gonna spend the next year between seasons in Siberia. Taking the Russian Consul hostage? Crazy shit.
9:37 - Ha! He just called CTU and said "Bill, I've got a situation." Well put.
-- COMMERCIAL (During this break, Jack and the Russian Consul split a cheeseburger, talk about last week's episode of Prison Break, joke about their love lives, show off some of their scars, and the Russian Consul helps Jack out with the day's LA Times Crossword) --
9:41 - The secret office under the White House looks rad. If I were President, I'd never go anywhere else. I wonder how the food service is.
9:43 - Ahhh two people talking at once. Stop stop I'll miss something! VP's secretary needs to shut up while Bill Buchanan is talking.
9:44 - See, and now I don't even know what she said because I was so mad and was tying with great fury. Oh I see, the Russian President's on the phone. I'm hoping it's like the Russian Premier in Dr. Strangelove where he's totally hammered because it's the middle of the night.
9:45 - Ohh back to the Jack interrogation. It's been ten minutes and he's just now asking about Gridenko? They were totally doing the crossword. It brings enemies together, I'm telling you. Or maybe they were playing Chess.
9:46 - BOOYA. Jack just cut off the guy's finger! Merica!
9:47 - Did you ever seen Man On Fire? Denzel did that shit too.
9:48 - Damn, Russian guy came clean pretty quick. FUCK they captured Jack! That shit won't fly. Tony Almedia's gonna come back from the dead to save Jack one more time. Also, what happened to Jack's dad? Dude vanished two episodes ago.
-- COMMERCIAL (This episode's been pretty emotionally intense without a lot of violence, so I'd imagine most of the players are simply sitting in quiet reflection over the events of the last 48 minutes, and how best to give me a traumatizing cliffhanger in the next 12 minutes so that I remain tormented about the show when I'm supposed to be lining up that 3-ball combo to the 9 ball at Michael's) --
9:52 - There's been very few shots of CTU this episode. What's Chloe up to? What about Milo? God, this Vice President sucks.
9:53 - Oh, there's Chloe. When did her desk turn red? What's it clear glass? And when did Morris clean his act up? He was a bumbling idiot last week.
9:54 - Ohhh, Buchanan's authorizing a special operation into the Consulate. Act of War, bitch!
9:55 - Jack's tied up. You're gonna need a lot more than rope to restain him. Remember in the first episode this season when he ate his way out of Fayed's restraint and bit a guy to death? What a cool guy.
9:56 - Ha! Jack just TALKED his way out of capture. There's a first time for everything. Too bad the guy who set him free ended up getting shot anyway. Live and learn.
-- EPISODE ENDS --
Next week on Zenziro - Will Tom Lenoox finally get some traction with revealing the conspiracy? Will Kevin's foot finally wake up? Will Logan's crazy wife resurface?
The answer to the third question is yes. For the rest of the answers, join us next week on the internet.
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