Internal Office Memo Of The Day

From the sassy and slightly menacing controller at my office:

This email is directed to the men at Buzznet. Apologizes ladies for the mass email.

Where is the men's bathroom key? There are two sticks and one key. Somebody has gracefully confiscated one of the restroom keys and left an empty stick. Who would do this? More importantly, why do this? Is that bathroom a hot spot, a desired date destination or does it have a skinny mirror that somebody wants all to themselves. I am confused and concerned that there is a key bandit among the Buzznet staff. I will order another key, and most likely send another similar email in a months time. Let's really try hard to focus on keeping the men's restroom key at Buzznet.

Thank you kindly.